Open Letter to a Supposed Friend

Dear You...

We've been friends for what feels like forever, almost half of my life. We've seen some rough patches...dodgy men, drugs, illness, pregnancy and gods know what else, but somehow always pulled through. Lately, however, I've felt disconnected form you in a way that i haven't experienced before in the 12 - odd years we've known each other.

It's strange how getting older and *shudder* growing up has brought me closer to some people who i couldn't stand before and who couldn't stand me, while it seems to have driven a wedge between us, me and my soul sister.

I don't know how this started. Maybe the difference in our upbringing has finally become too much for us to look past. I was raised in a liberal, free thinking house and had to work for most of what i have while your family have always been conservative and you were given everything... as long as you followed the life path your parents mapped out for you.

Maybe it's that we're in different places at the moment. You run businesses and are married and settled. I'm a single mother just starting to build a career with no real prospects of settling down anytime soon. I party until the early hours, you prefer a braai at home.

I know our morals will never be the same. We always knew that. We just look at the world differently. But this always worked in our favour before... You were my conscience and I encouraged you to have fun.

I look back and wonder that i never saw certain things before. When did you become so judgmental of people we both love and have known forever. When did you become so judgmental of me? When did you become an old prude?

The silence started straight after that stupid, stupid night. I don't know why though. What did I do? Before, you always told me what i did wrong. We were never afraid to speak our minds. So why the silence? Did I say something unforgivable? Did I do something that disgusting?

Please. Just let me know. I want to call you several times a week. There are things happening in my life now that I long to tell you about. I want to know how you are, but I'm too scared to pick up the phone in case I find out that I've lost someone I've considered a sister for so long.

Love You
xxx