yeah. so i probably should have done the round up thing earlier, but sucks to that, i'm doing it now!
Cool:
- new friends... tarryn, if anyone said a year ago that we'd be mates, i'd have laughed my ass off at them. steph and cirst, brilliant workmates, awesome friends. jordan, a virtual mate. when we talk i feel like we may just have the same brain.
- old aquaintences making reappearances... vera, i'm so fucking happy that we're FINALLY mates. gerry, you got me through some rough stuff, just with good times and good wine, without even knowing it.
- friends that have stuck around... cath, buzz, justin, garett, dale, terri, dean, tina and a million others. i am so blessed.
- zane. i don't even know what to say here. am smit.
- work. i love my job. i know i've mentioned that once or twice before, but fck, i love it. i love it even more after a promotion!
- shae. save the best for last. the change in this little person has been beyond amazing. she is a joy and a treasure and adored by everyone that meets her.
Not Cool:
- Garyth. how do you get over losing someone who has been a part of your life forever. my baby big brother. i still can't bring myself to delete your number. i miss you more than i can possibly explain. it's not fair that you're gone. but you'll never be forgotten. love you gemini.
- death. 2008 was the year of goodbyes. garyth, paul, danny, mary, grandpa. so many, so sad.
- crime. i think i've said enough about this. i want my fucking car back.
- friends exiting. two people i though would be around when i was a 60-year old gardening book club member have exited stage right. with no re-entrance for the big finale. fuck.
I didn't realise what a huge part of my life you were until the first time i saw you in that hospital bed. it was the first time you weren't happy, full of smiles and cracking some joke in a ridiculous accent. i'd never seen you vulnerable before and it terrified me. i'm the gemini twin that is always a mess... you're the stable one, the sane(ish) one.
but i believed you'd get better. i really thought that you'd come back to us. i was sure that at any second you'd wake up and be ok.
but you didn't wake up. you didn't get better. you left us. when i got the call to say that i must come and say goodbye i was angry as well as sad. how could you leave me here? i was so selfish.
when i got to the hospital, i understood. i wasn't angry. you looked at me and i knew. it was time for you to go and be free from the pain. to go to a place where you'd be whole again. and i told you i loved you. and i told you not to linger in pain for our benefit. and i didn't say goodbye.
i'll see you again.
until then i'll miss you more than you know. even though we didn't live in each other's pockets you were just always there. on our almost shared birthday this year i realised it's the first time in 20 years you haven't called me for my birthday. i hope you got the jack i burnt for you.
and i know that you and uncle lothian are together now, turbo charging the angel's chariots and replacing the pearly gates with carbon fibre.
i love you forever my big (but younger by a few hours) brother
xxx
There are no words to describe what life will be without you. I know where ever you are , at least you are now free from pain and suffering. Be at peace my love. I'll miss you more than you'll ever realize. x
SOTD: Lost Prophets - 4am Forever
It's time to wake up now. This is week 13 since the accident and we all want you back. I don't know how much longer i can cope with out my (younger) gemini twin being around to chirp me crap.
please come back soon.
love you.
Posts
