So I made a resolution...

In the fine tradition of New Year, i decided to make a resolution... i was going to try to be nicer to dumbfucks. you know, the fuckwits that ask stupid questions, don't use their indicators, park badly, sniff when standing behind you in the checkout queue and take 23 items into the 10 items or less queue.

dumbfucks. really. screw ethnic cleansing, bring on elimintaion by IQ. or just gimme a shotgun and i'll do the eliminating! simple. you piss me off... *bang* you won't piss me off anymore!

but anyway. getting in the spirit, i resolved to be nicer to the annoyingly stupid folk i seem to be plagued by.

all i'm saying is that if you're trying to be nicer to idiots... DON'T go to any chain restaurants and try to get bacon substituted with something else. even if you explain nicely that you'll go muslim fundamentalist on their asses if they fuck your order up, they will.

oh well... bring on new year resolutions in 2010. maybe those will stick. although 25 1/2 years of history says that they probably won't!

making up for lost time

with one long and very random post...

• where the fck is summer? i'm not one for hot weather, i get sunburn at the drop of a hat, but sheesh, can we at least have 2 sunny days a weeks so i can do the washing and bath the dogs?
• holy shit, i'm a couple of hours away from being the mother of a 2 year old!
• wheeeeeeeee, so excited about running Black Mamba in Cape Town on thursday
• i think i may have overdone the sweet shopping for the party on saturday. oh well, bye bye waistline, hello 2nd spare wheel!!
• hillbillies don't have white floored barns, no matter what musicians may think!
• i'm a lighting geek. i dream about winning the lotto and what lights i'd buy with the money
• last night i got home and my mom was watching one of those mindless call in game shows and i had flashbacks to Requiem for a Dream. hope the fridge doesn't attack mom!
• i love Kevin Smith and can't wait to see Zack and Miri make a Porno
• i feel like i should apologise to my car for swearing at it so much.
• i never feel like i should apologise to taxi's
• i wish Tina would hurry up and phone me
• it really sucks when companies book the theater. they better let us buy drinks on their tab.
• i love the way Shae says worm. and calls me megum
• holy shit, i'm a couple of hours away from being the mother of a 2 year old!
• i kind of miss the life i had before i started full time at the theatre. and the people. having a social life was pretty cool.
• that being said. i love my job. i bitch about it a lot, but i love it
• i'm trying so hard to behave because i'd rather die than hurt you.
• the other you, who was once my everything is no longer that to me. i've kicked that habit, i hope, forever.
• dumbfucks fucking annoy me. especially dumbfucks who don't know how to fucking brush their hair. dumbfucks
• i really really really really NEED a new tattoo.
• like really really.
• i'm so stoked geri lives down here now.
• i should go and get ready for work.
  

Leave Metal Alone

So some stupid kid takes a sword to a school kid wearing a mask and now music is to blame. metal in particular. The kid listened to slipknot and this drove him to murder. BIG fucking surprise. If i listened to Slipsnot, I'd also want to kill. Have you heard them? What a load of shite.

But really. Blaming his music? What about the fact that his folks knew he was getting bullied and did fuck all about it? Bad parenting, unsympathetic kids, a school system that lets the oddballs slip through the cracks. Could this be to blame? Hell no. It must be metal's fault. Dis die Duiwel se musiek.

Well, Cliff from Agro sums the whole silly situation perfectly in this story on News24:

Heavy Metal's Good Too - Artist

Johannesburg - Parents need to be educated on the good influences of heavy metal music and how to deal with teenagers listening to the odd "bad" songs, an artist said on Thursday.

Cliff Crabb, vocalist of the South African heavy metal band Agro, said most metal music sympathises with teenagers who are outsiders and teaches children to think for themselves about social issues.

"It is outsider music for the outsider," said Crabb, adding that most metal bands teach children that even though life may seem unfair, they need to "be strong and fight the good fight".

"Parents have this fear of music which they themselves don't understand."

He acknowledged that there are some heavy metal bands that do not have positive influences.

"There are bad apples on the scene. There are bands playing on shock tactics to sell records, purposely trying to mess with kids' minds and upset parents."

Slipknot's music could be dangerous

Is Slipknot, the US band that has been mentioned in the sword killing of a 16-year-old Krugersdorp school pupil, one of the bad ones?

"I do not agree with the way in which Slipknot projects themselves... I cannot speak for a child that is mentally unstable. In the wrong hands, it [Slipknot's music] could be dangerous," Crabb replies.

One of Slipknot's songs states: "I wanna slit your throat and fuck the wound".

If one of his children arrived home with a Slipknot album, he would listen to it with them, said Crabb.

"There are some lyrics out there which are against the grain of what is healthy for a developing child.

Banning the music implies influence

"If they came home with a Slipknot album, I will sit down and listen to it with them and say: 'Shame, they [Slipknot] are clearly very angry. But you know, this doesn't fit into our family lifestyle'.

"But I would certainly not ban the music because then you are basically admitting that it will influence them," said Crabb.

Almost all the band members of Agro, which has released six albums - three of them internationally - have children, added Crabb.

"Our children are perfectly normal and incredibly loved and cared for. I've been able to share the beauty of our music with them, which teaches one to think honestly about social issues," he said.

Today's Wish

My wish for today is that life will stop shitting on those i love the most.

My wish for today is that the fuckwits that invade our lives will wake up and fuck off

My wish for today is that all my bestest lovelies will be blessed with friends like mine.

I know it's traditional that you only get three wishes, but i'm going for one more.

My wish for today is that nice people could, just every now and then, i'm not asking much, have nice things happen to them.

Here... have some karma

I know i shouldn't get any pleasure out of people dying. Actually, what i feel isn't pleasure so much as the feeling that the universe finally got it right...

Puppy killer dies in accident
Johannesburg - The man who caused a countrywide uproar after using a chainsaw to cruelly behead his husky puppy earlier this year, died in a car accident over the weekend.

Phillip Matthysen, 31, rolled his vehicle in the early hours of Sunday morning and died on the scene.

Sergeant Marinda Scholtz said Matthysen was apparently en route to his smallholding in Sundra, Mpumalanga, when his black Toyota Land Cruiser overturned and he was thrown out of the vehicle.

The accident occurred in the early hours of Sunday on the R50 route to Delmas, near Rietfontein.

No witnesses According to him it was difficult to say if Matthysen had died instantly, or only later. His body was taken to Bronkhorstspruit mortuary where a post-mortem will be held to determine the exact cause of death.

Matthysen caused an uproar in June when Beeld reported that he’d used a chainsaw to behead his still-living Siberian husky.

When he was sentenced in July for animal abuse, the marketing consultant said in an affidavit that he had used a petrol-driven chainsaw to saw the dog’s head off "during a fit of fury". This was after the four-month-old dog had chewed through the electrical cable of his security gate and killed an exotic macaw parrot.

I hope he suffered more than that poor dog did.

here, have some karma mother fucker.

Thank You

Carrying on with my "trying to be more upbeat and positive" thing:

Thank you to all those people who feel the need to talk about my life. really. you make me realise that you clearly find me interesting and worthy of your meaningless gossip.

I'm flattered that of the millions of things you could choose to talk about, you choose little old me.

BUT. come on folks. please, try to at least be accurate when spreading the details of my life far and wide. the real thing is probably not as entertaining as the half truths you are scattering about, but at least that won't get anyone hurt.

So go ahead... talk away, but please do a fact check first

Deal?

And the award goes to...

Woolworths in PineCrest Centre for having the stupidest staff under the sun.

i asked no less then FOUR staff members, including the manager, whether a particular bag was leather or not as it wasn't labeled.

not one could tell me. one even responded with: "eh leather?" yes. leather you dumbass... you know, the hide of a murdered cow?

seriously... know your fckn products. you might end up selling something.

Hey Asshole...

thought i saw you today and i wanted to walk up to you and let you know that despite your best efforts, i'm alive and functioning.

and tell you a few things...

that i hate you for making me hate myself.

that even though you tried your level best to isolate me from everyone else, the friends that i still have from that time are here with me... you aren't.

that i am now one of those... how did you put it... "satanic, druggie, wanna-be, heavy metal scumbags" and fucking glad i am. those people you were so terrified i'd identify with are real. you weren't

that despite your lies, manipulation and abuse, i am happy now

that i took the greatest pleasure in purging my life of every trace of you. cutting up, burning and smashing every possession of yours that was left here was amazingly cathartic.

and i wanted to say thank you for testing my spirit to the limits. i know now that very few things will ever break me. you couldn't. thank you for making me stronger than i've ever been before.

but it wasn't you and i'm glad because i really, truly hope that you are dead. if not dead, then miserable and alone. you deserve no better. karma is a bitch and yours is coming.

What I've Learnt

This week has been one where i've learnt a lot about life. I don't know why but it's all become very clear in the last couple of days...

Fuckwits will always be fuckwits. There is nothing that can be done for them... I now begin pruning my list of fuckwits.

Real friends are forever. I'd rather have the 5 or 6 brilliant beautiful people around me that i can trust absolutely rather than a large network of kinda sorta mates that bail at the first sign of shit.

People die. there's nothing i can do about it. Accepting it is not the same as forgetting them.

I have a child. Nothing will ever change that. So I've made my peace with the fact things didn't turn out as they were supposed to. Oh well. Deal with it, move on and revel in the squishy, drooly love my daughter lavishes on me.

When all else fails. Weed and Beer.