Reality Bites

Reality is running out. It's official. Reality is a finite natural resource, leaking out of the earth's crust since time began and now it's running out. That's the only feasible explanation as to why mankind has become so obsessed with creating artificial reality

But is it real? Reality TV has to be one of the furhtest things from actual reality there is. Dumping 16 carefully selected swimsuit models on a beautiful beach to "see how real people react to real situations" is exactly the opposite. Unreal. Non-real. Whatever. Call it what you like, but this engineered circumstance is not real. What kind of shipwreck survivors have to negotiate SWAT team obstacle courses with a full medical team standing by on high alert? Robinson Crusoe must be laughing his virtual arse off at all this silliness.

And the endless obsession with the "real" lives of celebrities? Please. These surgically modified celebutards that sell their lives and whore out their children to the entertainment channel are only exhibiting a carefully set-up, relentlessly engineered life-lite version of how they actually live. Which, for the record is light years away from reality for the rest of us. they live in a comfy cocoon for surreality. If the reality was what we were shown, how come Ozzy never schnarfed on MTV? The closest we get to the real lives of celebs are the fleeting moments we see on the news as they are wheeled into the ER after their latest breakdown.

As for music... well. Haha. What happened to some poor kids practicing in someone's garage and playing shitty gigs for years and years before they get their big break or just go their separate ways and become bankers? Now, with new insta-reality, they enter some TV competition and if they look ok and can sort of carry a tune, they're whisked off to be aribrushed and over produced and presented to the masses in a neat little media blitz that includes pencil cases and themed ipod docking stations. And the masses are perfectly fucking happy with this. Music is like fast food now. Instant gratification. To keep the public happy just feed them one after another on teh endless conveyor belt of MacBritneys from the Idols fast-tunez factory.

It's almost as if, what with World War 3 about to explode form Gaza and the planet melting as we speak, we're trying as hard as possible to create our own easy listening reality out of a mindless sureality.

Trying to convince ourselves that as long as we have Britney, Audi A4's, rugby and DSTV, everything is going to be alright and the real reality won't get us.

/rant.